Consumption

Custom Vans Slip-Ons

I know what you're thinking. Well, yeah, technically, these are kinda hideous. But let's get this straight: college football season begins in three weeks, a girl needs to sport her colors, and just anyone can buy some college-specific Nike IDs (those are for banner ad-susceptible commoners; also, Nike offers a pink version of your college logo for girls which is just insulting and I refuse to support that as well as pink hammers and screwdrivers and toolboxes).  These Vans slip-ons are both old school and completely customizable, thereby allowing you such whimsy as adding a camo heel counter to remind everyone looking at your ass that you're a soldier reporting for duty here and not to be trifled with - unless it's half time and I'm in the beer line, in which case: [bats eyelashes].  Are they made for people born deformed and archless?  Yes.  Will you have to cut a slit in the elastic gore just to get them on?  Yes. Will you get a weird tan line because the vamp comes up high?  Yes, because your team plays in a stadium approximately 300 yards from the sun.  Are these minor obstacles you should ignore in favor of looking like a street-wise sexpot while cheering your boys this fall like a champ?  Absolutely, and you're just 3-5 weeks away.

Vans | $50

Sensual Amber by Bath and Body Works

I blame strippers.

I should elaborate, yeah? I enjoy the occasional outing to the strip club (strictly sociological curiosity of course), but the law in Tennessee strictly dictates there be no fun actually had in such establishments (hint: no booze). So when I found out that a) my future husband had never experienced the wonder of strange women disrobing to terrible music and b) there is a place near Atlanta that features both strange men and women disrobing to terrible music, I knew there was a road trip in our near future. A friend tipped me off to a Priceline trick that reliably yielded a luxury suite downtown at a ridiculously low price and it was, as the kids say, on.

I usually find myself in the sliver-of-dial-soap-type establishment when sojourning at hotels. This one, however, had an adorable little set of Bath and Body Works aromatherapy products in their shockingly delicious Orange Ginger scent. It served as a refreshing antithesis to that “strip club smell” (Equate baby oil, smoke, drugstore cologne, desperation) and I decided it might be time to lift my personal ban on Bath and Body Works that had been in place since what I like to call the “Sun-ripened Raspberry Incident” (more commonly known as ages 11-13). Unlike some of our OTHER contributors, my hair is so lame that pretty much all I can do is dye it intense colors and make it smell nice so I went in for a bottle of the shampoo. They were giving away a lotion with purchase so I hastily grabbed the one with the fewest flowers or fruits on the label. It smelled pretty okay in the bottle and I thought I could put it in my locker in the studio or something.

Then, I put it on.

This stuff was apparently created for my body chemistry because WOW. Every single person I walked by commented that I smelled amazing. I kept bringing my arm to my nose, inhaling deeply and feeling like I’d just done something incredibly naughty. Soon I owned the handsoap, the creamy bodywash, the shower gel, the body cream, the glittery lotion and body spray, and the regular body spray. I acquired the body scrub this afternoon. Somehow there are still several products I do not own but I’m working to correct this.

How to describe the smell? The packaging says Pink Lotus petals enveloped by a golden piece of precious amber. Seductive. Rich. Beautiful. Whatevs, I like to think of it as the way a strip club would smell if it were in heaven by way of Marrakesh. Unfortunately during my trip to the B&BW today the salesclerk noted that if I liked Sensual Amber I should try their new scent, Black Amethyst, so I dabbed on some lotion. I have been smelling my hands for the last few hours and I have to say, there may be some competition here.....

Bath and Body Works Sensual Amber $3.50-$18.50 Currently buy 1 get one 50% off.

The Company Store's Primaloft Comforters

I sleep cold, by choice.  Back home I was ill-rested all summer, every summer, because it was too hot to get under the covers.  In Los Angeles, this involves a year-round  ritual of jacking the AC down to 65 right before bed and burrowing into a nest of pillows and blankets like a very pretty and accomplished desert rodent.  Yet even the sturdiest of air conditioners doesn't have a prayer of matching the chilly snap of a winter we never see this far south. 

Enter Primaloft.

I love love LOVE The Company Store.   Everything's all clean lines and classically pretty, and their stuff lasts forever.  I discovered their Primaloft comforters my last year in Knoxville when I was living in a hundred year old house with no heat or air conditioning and windows that refused to shut.  Primaloft is a down alternative found in camping gear, and is (warning: science) the least gross down alternative in the world, ever.  It doesn't form hard little balls inside the blanket or disintegrate into dust when washed, it won't make you sneeze, and best of all for we warm-weather nesters--it's completely breathable. 

These comforters are huge and soft and fluffy to such a degree that you'll be tempted to just wander around the house all day with it wrapped around you like a toddler with a security blanket.  You can wash them in your own machine (ever try hauling your down blankets to the clearners?).  They have four different weight classes available depending on your warmth needs.  Mine's a medium, and I can rest quite snuggily under it in Southern California, in July, for an entire night without breaking a sweat. 

Summation:  If you're going to buy a comforter, buy it from The Company Store.  And if you're going to buy one from The Company Store, do it now, because their famous Comforter Sale is upon us.  During the sale you can pick one up for $100-200, which is a total steal.  Sleep tight!

Like a margarita. But for your face.

Normally when I mix vodka, lime, coconut, avocado, seaweed, and sea salt, it means I'm at Jay's beach house, watching The Birdcage and weeping while wrapped in a shark towel and shoveling clam dip down my gullet. When LUSH mixes those things, they come up with a product that achieves a similar catharsis without the hangover: Ocean Salt Facial Scrub. For those of us whose skin is so delicate and fair that it makes Scarlett O'Hara look like a leathery peasant, it can be difficult to find a cleanser that doesn't irritate and inflame. This is that cleanser.

The salt and vodka extracts exfoliate without grating your face like delicious parmesan, and the violet and avocado leave you feeling moisturized, not oily. The ingredients revitalize your face without stinging. Also, it smells like happiness (by which I mean it smells like the ocean if the ocean were made of vodka). It's a little on the pricey side ($18.55 for a 4.2 oz tub), but it lasts; you use less than a teaspoonful per scrub, and I recommend using it only ever other day. Wet your face, rub it in gently and let the exfoliants work their magic. This is also brilliant on the elbows and knees, hobbit feetsies, and any other rough patches you may have. My notoriously problematic skin was soft and clear within about a week.

One note: it may smell like a margarita and look like a Sonic Slushie, but don't let it get in your mouth when you're washing; the salty taste is overpowering.

Happy Salt Funtimes

 

Icarus Lamp by Tord Boontje

The Dutch are killing it these days.  On the design front is Tord Boontje, who hit the scene with gorgeous laser-cut and brass clip-on pendant lights that looked like  gardens lit from within.  And then he came out with the Icarus light, inspired by the mythological Greek god whose homemade wings melted when, carried away by the euphoria of flight, he flew too close to the sun.  The lamp is both materially cheeky and visually romantic; made from very modern mylar, Icarus comes in a flat, laser-cut piece which one hooks into a circle to form a long, rustling wing to hang over a light bulb.  It's simple, but uncommonly beautiful when lit, with a dreamy quality that makes it a perfect for over a bed (ahem).  It's all the sexiness of a shirtless Greek dude in flight, but without all inconvenience of a terrifying death plunge into the sea and the hassle of getting all the melted wax off your floor.

Unica Home | $84

Redken/Nexxus, remixed

It's easy to slip into pathological vanity wherever your best feature's concerned.  Mine can be found bouncing atop my noggin. The only person on this planet with better hair than me is Kaitlin, and it's a mark of what a precious critter she is that I don't scalp her out of sheer envy.

I have the thickest mane in recorded human history, and it's usually running wild down to the middle of my back because I've had it cut by the same stylist since 1991 and NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED NEAR IT WITH ANY CUTTING IMPLEMENT and getting back to Tennessee and into her capable hands is a twice-yearly prospect at best right now.  It's not dry, coarse, or frizzy, but it's got some natural curl to it that can be tricky to handle when it's as short as it is right now, and there's so f'ing MUCH of it that I stick with intensive moisturizing products to keep the lot of it weighed down.

By the grace of Redken, I'm able to go six months between cuts without looking like a sawgrass patch from the forehead up.  It took lengthy experimentation with three of their product lines before I found a combination that worked for me--look through their fetching rainbow haircare family to find your path to follicular glory.   My stylist usually sticks with their Clear Moisture line, depending on how much damage my hair's sustained in the previous six months, which is fairly lightweight and works perfectly fine when I've got freshly trimmed layers to show off, but those layers grow out fast, and after a couple weeks I start to look like the Jesus-Lion and need something with a little more heft.

Extreme. In looking for a good general regimen, I tried this line first because the bottles are my favorite shade of blue (stay with me here, I promise it gets more science-y).  Listen, I'm the first to snort derisively at anything labeled "extreme", especially with an awkwardly placed accent on a random vowel, but they're not kidding here--I have approximately twenty-three pounds of hair on my head and this left it just drenched in moisture.  I'd go so far as to say it's a little too extreme.  If you've just spent a week at the beach and find your locks have been destroyed by wind and water and stray blobs of sunscreen, maybe stock this for emergencies, but I found using either the shampoo or the conditioner more than once a week to be too much of a good thing.

Smooth Down.  Extreme is designated for use on "damaged" hair, so I turned to the next lightest product, designed to control frizz.  This line has an alluring spicy scent--and is still too heavy for everyday use.  (Which, don't get me wrong, is the best possible problem as far as I'm concerned--any product my hair doesn't immediately soak up with no visible effect is a godsend.)  Together, this line is still a little too much for regular applications, but the shampoo has quickly become my carry-on/time-crunch product of choice--one wash and I'm out the door with no need for a separate conditioner (another first).

All Soft. Time to drop down a weight class, and with the addition of All Soft to my day I was nearly completely satisfied.  This conditioner is a thing of wonder--shiny, bouncy locks abound without going limp at the 8-hour mark.  But the scent is a little too bubblegummy for my liking. My hair hangs in my face all the time and I don't fancy smelling like children's toothpaste.

Solution?

REEEEEEMIXXXXXXX (ix...ix....ix....)

After several months of tweaking, I arrived at a formula that sounds unnecessarily complicated but leaves me with glorious tresses and makes grown heterosexual men sniff the air around my head and excuse their behavior by saying, "I'm sorry, but did you wash your hair four minutes ago, because it smells amazing."*  The solution: Little dabs of All Soft conditioner every day just on the ends, and alternating the Smooth Down shampoo with another national treasure of hair care, Therappe from Nexxus (awkwardly unpronounceable name, delicious coconut aroma).   If I'm fresh from the beach and need some extra moisture, it's the Therappe shampoo (smells like sunscreen!) plus the hardcore Smooth Down conditioner.   I'm fully aware this requires having four bottles of something on hand at all times, but consider your very green lawn--exquisite natural loveliness of this magnitude doesn't just look after itself.  It takes devotion and proper tools, and look! I found them for you!  You're welcome, internet.

[All these are somehow occasionally available at Target, but the selection's hit or miss, and weirdly expensive.  I've been buying it in liter bottles from a hair salon supply store.  They'll run you from $20-$25 each, but each bottle will last several months.]

*True story.

Smashbox Cream Eyeliner

Last week I got a MacBook Pro, and mentioned that this week I’d write about it for my post. Look at that, I just did. I’m ecstatic, let’s move on.

On the first day of my Intro to Drawing class my professor made us draw straight lines freehand for the entire class period. As she looked over my shoulder she remarked “well, it’s all uphill from here for you, isn’t it?” I somehow made it out of art school without being able to draw a straight line on a page.

Imagine, then, my difficulty with the base of my eyelashes. My eyes are nicely shaped, but they are a little small and squinty for my taste. From a distance, without eyeliner and mascara, I look like pair of lips on a blank face. I am a master at the application of mascara, but I have been searching for an eyeliner I couldn’t screw up since I was fifteen. For a long time I went with a subtle brown, smudged all to hell to conceal my inability to apply it correctly. Later, envious of my friend Heidi’s perfect, thin black lines with the slight cat-eye flick at the corners that made her look demure but saucy, I picked up some liquid black. Determined that practice makes perfect, I went around looking like Amy Winehouse for longer than I should have. She, at least, has the excuse of crack addiction.

Long story short, I recently found Smashbox, a cosmetics company that makes many fine products and the most amazing eyeliner I have ever used. It’s a cream, which would normally scare the bejeezus out of someone with my oily skin. It’s all about the brush, wide and flat. Load it up with a touch of your favorite color and (to use Smashbox’s terminology) “walk” it across the base of your lashes. Flawless! You can smudge it or let it set in a line. Defying all makeup logic it stays! The flat little brush makes it simple to do the little corner flick I’ve sought in vain all this time. I can do both eyes in seconds.

It’s pricey, sure, but I’ll be using the same $20 brush as long as they keep making this stuff (and they’d better), and I can’t see running through this generous pot anytime soon. For the commitment wary, they even make tiny sampler palettes. I can have my everyday brown and bust out the sparkly green when the mood is right. Worth absolutely every penny.

Smashbox Cream Eyeliner
Smashbox Cream Eyeliner Brush #9

programming note

We're not Launched Launched yet, obvs, and there are some weird TypePad issues that need sorting out (like, y'know, a header, and the fact that no one can comment on Janie's excellent post).  Thanks for reading as we wiggle our way towards a hatch date, which should be in another week or two. 

OmniWeb

When the majority of your work day is conducted via the internet, even little frustrations, tweaks you'd like to see made to your browser add up.  I roll with OmniWeb, a speedy, powerful, aesthetically satisfying program brought to you by the Omni Group.

OmniWeb lends itself to multiple workspaces with the greatest of ease (and can autosave them all), and can run a godzillion open tabs without breaking a sweat.  If you're a visual learner/worker bee, you'll love their tab drawer--you have the option to display them in list form or as resizeable thumbnails. 

Check out some other features or throw down your $14.95 right here.  Yes, it costs money.  Yes, it's only for Macs.  Yes, Firefox 3 just came out, but the OS X upgrade makes it look just like Safari, which is why I fled to Firefox in the first place and I can't be the only one, so until they build some fancy skins you ought to give this a spin.

Fair flower, that dost so comely grow/ Hid in this silent, dull retreat

     Take a minute and imagine the scents of your youthful summers. If you're anything like me, you just smelled freshly mown grass, chlorine, grape popsicles, the salty tears of furious tantrums, entitlement, and honeysuckle. Unfortunately, cosmetic companies have yet to catch up to my dreams of lightly misting myself with the salty tears of furious tantrums; however, Boss Lady has made my fantasies of smelling exactly like a honeysuckle plant into delectable reality.

 

     Scientific fact: honeysuckle contains nepetalactone, otherwise known as the primary ingredient of catnip. Unscientific fact: catnips makes cats go donkey-ass crazy in a frenzy of rubbing, licking, and general sluttery. I bet you didn't know that honeysuckle has this exact same effect on boys...BUT IT DOES. The sweet nectar is simultaneously nostalgic and alluring, the best possible combination for making someone want to take their pants off. "This reminds me of the happy times I had before I went to law school and watched a lot of anime...[joyous tear]...I'M LIKE A HUMMINGBIRD [nosedive into cleavage]".

     As if this weren't incentive enough, the honeysuckle scent of Boss Lady is light and subtle enough to be tantalizing without being completely overpowering. It's feminine and summery. Bottom line: it just plain makes me happy.

     You can find Boss Lady at eclectic locations such as Earth to the Old City in Knoxville, or you can buy it online (I recommend just googling to find the provider of your choice). The honeysuckle scent is available in several incarnations, but the Spray is by far the best purchase; the cream is just too oily, whilst the spray is very light.

     Warning: Product may cause frequent vicious hummingbird attacks.